Why Not.

First game back, why not live blog my thoughts?

Because it's useless since most people have radio?

It was a rhetorical question, voice in my head. Shut it.

Read More...

2:31 PM
Listening to Pat and Ron live from Scottsdale. Missed the top of the first, tuned in just in time to hear Rambo give up a solo shot. Yipee.

2:32 PM
Top 2
Holy crap! Pie takes a walk! This is gonna be his year, I'm sure of it. Green light for him in game one?

2:33 PM
Top 2
Properly executed bunt by the pitcher? Maybe I'm listening to the wrong game. Pat has just informed us that DeRosa's heart thingie went well today (my wife will be happy). Good news. It's hard to inform a guy with a bum ticker that he is about to be replaced as a starter.

2:35 PM
Murder's Row. Theriot singles. Cedeno reaches on an error. Run scores. 2-1 Cubs.

For a quick oil change, think Jiffy Lube.

Bye bye, Lowry.

2:38PM
Top 2
Awesome. Just found out that Fukudome got hit in the arm with the first pitch he saw in America last inning. Welcome to The Show, kid.

2:39PM
Top 2
Whoever had the top of the second inning in the "When will Pat and Ron make their first uncomfortable Japanese joke" Pool is the big winner.

2:41PM
Top 2
Double steal? Really? Fukudome takes the walk with the next pitch. D-Lee up with the bases drunk.

2:43PM
Ron: That looked like a backup curveball...meaning it didn't break at all.

Huh?

2:44PM
Top 2
Pat mentions that Murton has red hair. Hater.

2:46PM
Middle 2
3-1 Cubs.

Can anyone explain to me why there are no commercials between innings with MLB Audio? Seems like an untapped revenue source. I don't know how many times I've come back from lunch and cranked my speakers thinking the audio feed was broken only to have a heart attack when Pat's voice came out of nowhere. Good times.

2:49PM
Bottom 2

1-2-3 inning for Rambo. Good to see he settled down.

I think this nickname is gonna stick...at least with me. It's just fun to say Ryan "Rambo" Dempster. Try it.

2:52PM
Top 3
My latest man-crush/fantasy sleeper Mr. Soto is up. We need to find a good nickname for him as well. Goto? Yes, I have a talent for crappy nicknames (C-Pat, E-Pat, etc.).

2:56PM
Top 3
After a "great at-bat," Soto gets a base knock. I know it's early, but I'm saying 40, 90, 140 for the kid. And I'm hedging my bets a little.

(I should probably just get this out of the way now, so people don't think I'm insane. Just assume I'm being sarcastic most of the time. I'll probably tell you if I'm being serious.)

That being said. I'm serious about Soto.

2:59PM
Top 3
Pie goes off the wall. Fontenot goes yard. It's the hair. 6-1 Cubs.

Ron: This guy can hit in Mesa in Spring Training (italics added by me).

3:01PM
Top 3
The Riot is 3 for 3. Somewhere Marty is pissed.

3:04PM
Top 3
Fukudome gets his first RBI as a Cub. Someone get him the ball! Lou took him out afterwards to a chorus of boos from somewhere in the South Pacific.

3:06PM
Top 3
Lee gets another RBI. First mention of how last year was a "recovery year" for Lee. THIS is his year. Whatever. Bye Lee.

Don't know if I will stick with this through the end if it ends up being Bobby Scales et al.

3:07PM
Top 3
Murton bats, gets a hit without anyone mentioning that he's a red head. Baby steps.

8-1 Cubs.

3:15PM
Bottom 3
Gallagher is a little wild. Goto (I'll stop when someone thinks of something better) has already been out to the mound. Good sign.

3:17PM
Bottom 3
No retaliation for Winn hitting a HR last time up? Wusses. I love it when teams become enemies in meaningless Spring games.

3:22PM
Pie goes yard. This is his year too.

(Should be noted, that I put waaaay too much stock in practice games. I actually drafted Skip Hicks in the 5th round of our football draft one year after he ran for 150 yards and 2 scores in a preseason game the night before. I'd find that funny if it weren't true.)

3:39PM
Trying to edit the blog so that this post doesn't take up the entire page. This could take some time. Sorry.

4:00PM
Yeah, me and HTML code don't hang out that much. That was a waste of my time. If anyone reading this knows how to create "expandable post summaries," feel free to leave the info in comments. Yes, I'm a giant tool.

And, yes, I AM busy at work today. I can do to things at once thank you very much.

4:01PM
Bottom of some inning after the 4th
Pat: All the Cubs starters are out now.

Fun. Score is 10-2 now for anyone who cares. I don't. I'm still mad about HTML. Maybe I should have actually gone to the college class I took on Web Publishing. Irony is a bitch sometimes.

4:05PM
Top 6
I don't know how Pat does it. I can't stay focused on the game at all at this point.

4:09PM
Let's treat this as Spring Training for me too. Nothing left to report in this game. I'm hitting the showers. More later.

Go Cubs.

Rambo-ian

From today's Suntimes.

Manager Lou Piniella, on the other hand, said he's looking forward to seeing Dempster pitch in a game after an offseason and early spring of what Piniella called ''Rambo-ian'' effort -- in particular the right-hander's daily habit this spring of putting in a full workout at the ballpark, then running up nearby Camelback Mountain.

''When you've got the energy to do that,'' Piniella said, ''that's a little Rambo-ian for me.''

Read More...

Maybe he meant rambunctious?

''No, Rambo-ian,'' he said. ''Like Rambo. We'll invent a word, what the hell.''

Gotta love Lou.

So, today is the first game. Ryan "Rambo" Dempster on the hill for the Cubs against the Geriatric Giants. Seriously, this has to be the oldest team in baseball history, right? Even without Barry. Take a look at this.

Projected Starters
1. Dave Roberts LF (36)
2. Omar Vizquel SS (41)
3. Randy Winn RF (34)
4. Aaron Rowand CF (31)
5. Bengie Molina C (34)
6. Ray Durham 2B (37)
7. Rich Aurilia 1B (37)
8. Kevin Frandsen 3B (26)

Sweet Jesus.

Not a whole lot to look forward to if you are a Giants fan this year.

I haven't seen an official lineup yet for your Chicago Cubs today. I'm sure there will by plenty of playing time for the young kids. I'm excited. First chance to hear Ron and Pat. Always a great day. Can't wait.

Go Cubs!

UPDATE:
Here is the lineup for the first game.

Theriot, SS

Cedeno, 3B

Fukudome, RF

Lee, 1B

Murton, LF

Soto, C

Cintron, 2B

Pie, CF

Dempster, P UPDATE #2: Randy Winn took Rambo deep in the first. Joy. Go Cubs.

Slideshow of Spring Training

Thought I'd put all the photos from our week in AZ in one spot. Some really great shots in here.





More video later.

Go Cubs.

Six Completely (well, mostly) UnCub Observations from the Weekend

Why six and not ten? Because shut up, that's why.


Read More...

1. Gary Busey is crazy in all the best ways.

2. Mark DeRosa was, by far, the nicest guy in Cubs camp last week. And there wasn't even a second place. Unlike every other player on the team, he stopped for autographs and pictures virtually every time he walked between fields. Get well soon, Mark.

3. Trying to decide which of the “I'm fucking Matt Damon/Ben Affleck” videos is funnier is like trying to choose between your children. Only harder. See for yourself:





4. So Ben Wallace and his foot long afro was traded for Drew Gooden and his foot long beard. The league would be a lot more fun if all teams were required to only trade guys with goofy hair for other guys with goofy hair.

5. By the way, the NBA would then be required to have a Scot Pollard Rule like the Larry Bird Rule for salaries-a team can be allowed to go over the Goofy Hair Cap if it has a player that is certifiably crazy.

6. If it snows one more time, I'm walking to WGN studios, finding Tom Skilling, and punching him in the junk.

That'll Learn Ya...

Not sure this is the best way to convince someone to give you money.

From Paul Sullivan at the Trib.

Cubs reliever Jose Ascanio showed up at camp on Sunday with a black eye after being punched by a would-be robber outside a Scottsdale convenience store.

While information was still sketchy on Sunday, manager Lou Piniella said the incident happened Saturday night.

"He went over to Circle-K last night and evidently somebody … he got punched a few times by a guy who was looking for some money," Piniella said.

Lou threw in his two cents as well.

"He didn't get robbed," Piniella said. "The guy asked for money and evidently the young man said 'I don't have any money,' and the guy punched him a few times. So he went over to the hospital. His (left) eye was closed and he had some swelling on the left side of his face."

Ascanio's injury is not serious, and Piniella said he'd be able to throw on Monday. Piniella joked: "If I need some food, from now on I'm going to have room service."

Wow.

Go Cubs.

Let the Big Dogs Eat.

Some footage of Pie, Soriano and Aramis in the cage.

EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE: Aramis bunts?

Times Up

Our time ran out in AZ and...well, let's let Alan do the honors.



I'm gonna miss the sun.

First and foremost, I want to thank everyone for taking a few minutes out of their week to check out the blog. This whole thing started as just a fun way to make our friends jealous about us being at Spring Training. 2500+ hits later, apparently it's a little more than that. Nothing earth-shattering or ground-breaking, obviously. Just a few Cubs fans sharing their thoughts on a team that means so much to us (whether that is good for our mental health in the long run remains to be seen). Anyway, I just wanted to extend my thanks for everyone's support.

Moving on.

I don't want to step on Marty's toes at all after he relayed his thoughts on the week, but I have to say something about the sounds of Spring Training. The videos I shared so far can barely do any justice to being there. Strangers from across the US, standing around exchanging their hopes on the season and thoughts about the team as the sound of wood striking rawhide echoes all around them. It may sound like I am exaggerating, but I really don't think I have the words to do that. I think EVERY fan of baseball needs to go down to Florida or AZ and spend a few days watching their team practice. EVERY fan of whatever good is left in sports needs to spend a few minutes resting their forehead against an outfield fence with the sun overhead and BP in full swing. It's worth it. I promise.

Go Cubs.

Marty's Thoughts at the Airport Going (sigh...) Home

There’s an odd moment during the practices at Spring Training when the players move between drills. The players begin switching fields, and some players choose to cut through the gallery of fans instead of taking the long way around the outfield. At this time, everyone holds their breath and scrambles to get a picture of a player or secure an autograph (90% of the time, this request is brushed away with the empty promise of “after practice I’ll sign”). Everyone sitting in the bleachers at Fitch Park immediately rises upon hearing the clip-clop of spikes on the pavement, looking hopefully for the chance to be within feet of Derrek Lee or Aramis Ramirez as they slowly move between drills. Children immediately leave the comfort of their parents’ side and sprint to the source of the sound, hopeful that the big guys in blue will stop for a brief second and commemorate the experience by signing the kid’s baseball, souvenir bat, or whatever he’s holding in his hand.

Clip Clop, Clip Clop…

For that second, with the sun shining overhead and the freezing temperatures of Chicago left on the plane, the names Brian MacNamee or Victor Conte cease to exist. No one thinks about BALCO or HGH or any of the other damning acronyms. For that moment, everything is simple and everyone is twelve years old. The hopefulness and joy that envelop each person as they listen to the crack of the bat immediately returns them to games of home run derby played on the little league field every day of that summer before seventh grade. It is simply baseball, as your grandfather says it used to be.

Clip Clop, Clip Clop…

Of course, we know the game was never that simple. From the Black Sox to the struggles to integrate to the drug use of the 70s through today, it is obvious that baseball has always had a dark side. It wasn’t until the age of the omnipresent media that the average fan knew even a little about that dark side. Because of this, I’m sure these moments of pure baseball joy occurred on a far more regular basis for fans of past generations. Maybe they were so prevalent that they didn’t even notice these moments when they happened. But in a time when there seems to be a tag-team effort on the part of owners, players, media members and agents to destroy the last vestiges of purity and simplicity within the game, these flashes of brilliance that come with Spring Training become a far-too-rare gift to the modern fan. These instances cannot be replicated, even in baseball’s regular season. It’s comforting to know that these moments still exist.

Clip Clop, Clip Clop…

Inevitably, of course, the hopes of the Fitch Park faithful are dashed by the sight of a non-roster invitee like Bobby Scales or J.D. Closser strolling past the concession stand. One of the true stars of the game rarely, if ever, comes that close to the fans. The fan’s chance to make themselves part of the day’s simple perfection was thisclose, but reality dictates that they have to once again settle back into their roles as steadfast observers. Nonetheless, for that moment, time had stood still, and you get a sense of just how much people absolutely and rightly love this game. No matter what is done by those who try to destroy the game, from both inside and outside the foul lines, the game persists beyond their insidious influences. The game is eternal. To put it simply: there is nothing in any sport that can compare to the simple tranquility of baseball, and being at Spring Training this year has, at least for me, been a reminder of that perfection. The week simply embodied everything that makes the sport of baseball truly great: why I get sad when the season ends in October; why I sit through six months of winter, posting on message boards and dying for any ounce of information I can about the upcoming season; and, most importantly, why I make a point to get down here each year to experience, even for a short time, this serene setting. Above all things experienced this week, that simple basic truth will remain with me. Play ball.

Turn out the lights...

30 degrees in Chicago today, 76 here in AZ. I wonder why I don't have any desire to get on a plane. I wish we could have switched yesterday's 50 degrees and raining for today's weather. Whatever. Stupid winter.

Like Marty mentioned, I've got tons of pics and video (shaky video, Maggie, so deal with it) to share still. I'll post some final thoughts after we clean up the condo. Shockingly enough, 4 guys in a "villa" together for a week qualifies as a national disaster. We're keeping our fingers crossed that relief money is on the way.

Go Cubs.

More to Come Tomorrow

The rain made us far too depressed today to post, so we're going to save our posts on today (and some final thoughts about the trip) until tomorrow. We still have plenty of pictures and video to share, though, so we'll be adding things throughout the remainder of Spring Training. Check back tomorrow...

Apparently, they broke down the hitting groups by height...

The Riot, Fuld and E-Pat take their turns in the cage.



Go Cubs.

Fukudome BP Video

Can't believe I didn't start with the Fukudome video. Here is the man, the myth, the legend taking a few hacks in BP.




Looking good.

Go Cubs.

Marty's Facts Realized After Day Four of Cubs Camp

Fact #1: NEVER celebrate getting a three card 21 at the blackjack table until you see what the dealer has. You will get punched by others at the table.

Fact #2: Biggest lie told during Spring Training: Any scumbag over the age of 15 who brings 20-30 pieces of memorabilia to Spring Training, complete with multiple binders of cards and photos, who says “Can I get an autograph or 20 for my kid?”

Fact #3: As a rule, anyone over the age of 15 should not bring a glove to a baseball game/practice/etc in order to catch a foul ball. However, just because Kevin Mitchell was able to catch a ball barehanded that one time does not mean that you should try to re-enact that moment without fully accepting the fact that you will miss it, you will look dumb doing it, and the welt on your body will be there almost as long as the embarrassment.

Fact #4: When trying to convince a player to throw you a souvenir ball, its important to say “I’m not a loser merchandise dealer who just wants to put this on Ebay, I’m just a normal loser who thinks getting a batting practice baseball from a guy who will probably never sniff the big leagues is cool.”

Fact #5: Pitchers try REALLY hard to make good catches in the outfield during batting practice. It’s like they overcompensate for their lack of real athletic ability (come on, very few pitchers are really “athletes” in the real sense of the word) by attempting to re-create the Willie Mays catch in the ’54 world series. The results are usually disastrous. I think Les Walrond might have separated a shoulder jumping into the wall to make a catch that no one aside from me even saw.

Fact #6: Speaking of jumping into the wall, the Cubs actually have a drill for the outfielders in which the object of the drill is to jump into the wall and catch the ball. Patrick made by far the best observation of this drill: “When you play 81 games in a stadium with a brick wall, maybe encouraging the players to jump into the outfield wall might not be the best idea for the long-term health of your players.”

Fact #7: I’ve never been as paralyzed by fame in my life than when Willie Mays walked past our blackjack table at Casino Arizona last night. After seeing him, watching Bobby Scales struggle to hit batting practice fastballs out of the infield seems a little bit sad.

Fact #8: Any drill in which a pitcher is required to throw a horribly wild pitch for the purposes of practicing covering home plate should be renamed the Rick Ankiel Drill.

Fact #9: They serve beer at the Fitch Park Concession stand at nine in the morning. There's no joke to be written there, I just thought it needed to be mentioned.

Fact #10: When you know that in Chicago it is currently four degrees and snowy, the feeling of sunburn can only be described as “beautiful agony.”

I'm not sure it gets any better than this.

Sat down the left field line of one of the fields today (Day 4). It was gorgeous out and we decided that instead of hanging out by the fence, we'd just relax and watch BP today. Came away with a few foul balls (thanks Murton and Juan Dejesus). Crowds have been thinner the last few days. Just us diehard fans come back every day to see the same guys run the same drills, I guess. We wouldn't miss it for the world.

I know Marty mentioned being interviewed by the Japanese media on Wednesday. Here is the proof.



I guess getting that Fukudome jersey was worth it after all.

I checked out some fielding drills on Wednesday. Cedeno was taking balls at third with Aramis. I guess Theriot's starting spot is all but secured after all Not quite sure how I feel about that. I'll let Marty give his two cents since he is the HUGE Riot fan.

I think I finally figured out this video thing. They will get better as I get the hang of editing, but here is a taste of Spring Training for you. Check it out.



Nothing too exciting. It does give you an idea of how quiet it is there. More videos and pics soon. Gotta go jump in the hot tub for a bit.


Go Cubs.

Posts Coming Forthwith

We're sitting at practice right now (god bless the iPhone), but we'll be certain to post more this afternoon. Hopefully, we'll get a video up if the computer cooperates.

Marty's Semi-Embarrassing and/or Mildly Flattering Moments of the Day (Early Afternoon Edition)

As I was standing at the urinal next to Bobby Howry this morning, wondering why I (at 5’10”) was at the tall one, and he (at 6’5”) was at the short one, a number of slightly-less-creepy thoughts crossed my mind regarding the morning's activities. Among the most prominent ones…

In order to signify the end of a drill, Alan Trammell blows a loud air horn. He also gets particular pleasure out of picking the exact moment when blowing the horn will scare the absolute living hell out of Henry Blanco. Too bad Hendry doesn’t move that fast with a bat in his hands. He might actually hit better than .210.

As good as Rich Hill is as a pitcher, I completely understand the frustration with him on the part of the coaches. The guy looks perpetually confused, and makes mental mistakes in practice like he gets paid by the brain fart. He’s like Keanu Reeves in…well, every movie Keanu Reeves has ever been in.

The Fukudome jersey I was wearing today made me an instant star with the members of the Japanese media. I guarantee that I will be featured in multiple videos throughout the greater Tokyo area. Soon I will be reaching Hasselhoffian levels of popularity among the Japanese.

My favorite exchange with the Japanese media today (NOTE: He spoke in verrrrrry broken English, but I’m not going to even try and recreate that):

Japanese Cameraman: (broken English) So how did you get jersey?
Me: My wife gave it to me for Christmas.
Japanese Cameraman: Is she fan of the Mets, too?
Me: (confused look)
Him: (smiling and hopeful)
Me: Uhh…yeah, she’s a huge fan of the Cubs.

And thus my 15 minutes of Asian fame began...


I’m going to keep it short though, because I’m sure there will be plenty from the others about the goings-on today (and its 70 degrees, so why the hell am I inside?). I’ll try to explain a little more later about some of the great phenomena I’ve seen, from the bottom-feeder 40 year old autograph hounds to “Scrappy White Guy Field.”

Until then…

More Photos From Day 2

It's never too early to start thinking about the 2009 Hall Fame.



Look! They do practice base-running! I have proof!

Towards the end of the day, I picked the wrong field and was treated to BP with the minor leaguers. Still mesmorizing for some reason.



Everyone's swing looked nice and compact.



Tyler Colvin was in this group. I don't have anything funny to add, I just thought you'd want to know that he was present and accounted for on Tuesday.

More to come later today. I'm bringing along the camcorder this time, so I may upload some video. Keep your fingers crossed.

Go Cubs.

We Fukudome in your...

So the boys and I have been talking about the Cubs, Wrigley and basically watching baseball live. Apparently, there are a TON of things we don't like when watching a game at the house that Santo built. In no particular order:

1) Standing Up to Get Your Beers
There is no way that your pants are that tight that you can't lean on one cheek (sp?). You can access the money, whether you are still keep the goods in your back pocket or grab it out of your front pocket, without having to go vertical. You're blocking our view. Quit it.

2) Super Negative Fans
We get it. The Cubs suck. Individually and as a team. Is there any way the rest of us can enjoy the game without you repeatedly pointing out that Theriot's OBP is below .300? Just asking.

3. You With the Cell Phone
I'm on TV? No way! Really! OMG! Can you see me still? I'm standing up now. Wave? I am waving.

4. Murphy's

5. White Sox Suck v. Cardinals Take it in the Pujols T-shirts
We get it. You're Cubs fans. You both lose.

(Also receiving votes: Drunks Chicks Dig Me and Shut Up and Drink Your Beer)

6. Meet Me at the Harry Caray Statue
Good god people, there are a hundred better meeting places around the stadium. I hate to give away a secret here, but...Taco Bell.

7. Banks, Santo, Dawson, Grace, Williams, Jenkins and Ryno
Those are the jerseys you can wear. Brian McRae was great and all, but if he ain't on the field and he ain't on this list. Stop it.

7a. Stop putting your last name on a jersey.
It confuses us for two minutes, then it makes us mad when we realize that no one named Kronewitter has ever been a Cub.

8. Souvenir Guy
Move idiot. Hawk your bear claw somewhere else.

9. Moo
Yes, we are all waiting in a big line in the bathroom. Yes, we seem like cattle. No, you shouldn't make the joke.

9a. River Rat is not funny. Ever.

10. Left field sucks. Right field sucks. Lets be adults here, you all suck. Shut up and drink your beer.

Oops.

Feel free to add your own in the comments!

More tomorrow.

Go Cubs.

Fun Facts Realized by Marty on Day Three

Fact #1: Any item featuring the word “Cubbie” automatically reduces my opinion of the item by at least 30%. Any person regularly referring to the Cubs as the “Cubbies” automatically makes me want to stab them in the eye with a rusty fork.
Fact #2: Henry Blanco couldn’t hit .300 in batting practice.
Fact #3:The obnoxious, loud chubby Cubs/Detroit Lions (?) fan who has been the bane of my existence for two days should recognize the fact that being embarrassingly blown off by the weekend sports guy from channel 7 should necessitate a personality change. Unfortunately, he will not.
Fact #4 (A Question, really):If Castro’s official resignation was today, for how many years has he actually been dead?
Fact #5: People were offering others good money for their free roster cards because apparently only 250 were available today. Is this necessary? Apparently, its vitally important to know exactly how much MLB service time Ed Campusano has right now. Isn’t that something that could wait one day?
Fact #6: I’m awwwwwwwwwwwful at small talk. I’m fairly certain I offended both my server and another customer at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf by my poor attempts at small talk. This was on two separate occasions. I wish there were a class on not making an ass of yourself to strangers.
Fact #7: Then again, my analysis of my lack of small talk talent is only making the situation worse. I may or may not have spent at least 25 minutes analyzing each conversation to determine what, exactly, I did wrong. I’m like the Chuck Knoblauch or Mackey Sasser of small talk-I just can’t make the throw anymore.
Fact #8: I love black and white cookies.
Fact #9: When your discussions of your fantasy baseball league are so intricate and detailed that the person sitting next to you asks “do you guys work for Major League Baseball or something,” then its time to reassess your commitment to fantasy sports. And your life in general.
Fact #10: Words cannot quantify how glad I am that Ronnie Woo Woo isn’t here.

Tranquility In Mesa

Day Two (aka Cuba Sans Fidel Day).

Got really lucky today. After a a long day and evening drinking, we didn't roll out of bed until nearly 9 AM, which is when the Cubs are supposed to start working out. Oops. Actually got there around 10:30 AM and to our surprise, they were just starting their calesthenics. Bonus.



This random guy joined in as well.

Apparently, we were one of about 200 lucky fans who got our hands on the Roster Card for this Spring.



Nothing stood out here other than the fact that we finally figured out that the guy who had been just raking the ball on Monday was none other than Bobby Scales. He looked great. But with the number 73 and the fact he's over 30, I don't like his chances. Too bad. He looked great to my untrained eye.


After that, we had the "Running of the Pitchers."





And our first sighting of Mr. Rothschild.



He may be smiling now, but that didn't last long.


There is something mesmorizing about watching fielding drills.



Maybe it's the sound of bat on ball breaking through the quiet morning. Maybe it's how close we were to the action. Either way, I stood there slack-jawed for the better part of a half hour watching Fontenot and some others take some grounders.



It's all about fundamentals.



Scales got waaaay up there for a ball.

Walked over to another field to watch the pitchers field some bunts. With so many blunders over the years by our pitchers, I was unaware they actually practiced this. Everyone (almost) looked pretty crisp for this early in camp.



Big Z getting off the mound in a hurry. He looked like he came to camp in pretty good shape.



Wood looked good as well. He seemed to be all business. Closer's mentality? We'll see.

He was also sporting a sweet facial hair.



Apparently, it's never to early to start getting the playoff beard loose.



See. Z looks pretty svelt. For Z anyway.



Guzman looked healthy or at least his arm seemed to still be attached, which is good.



And then there was Rich Hill.



They were doing a simulation where there was an imaginary runner on second "with speed" and they had to judge which base to go to (1st or 3rd) based on the bunt they fielded. Let's just say that Rich had some issues with the drill. Wrong base twice. Yikes.



Rothschild ripped into him both times. High comedy is seeing a grown-ass man being chewed out by another grown-ass man. He was the only one that had to repeat the drill. Not a good sign. I love Rich, but I worry about the mental part of his game. Boneheaded stuff like this doesn't help that worry. Then again, it's Day 2...maybe I should cut him some slack.

More later.

RANDOM NOTE:

Two great phrases we learned listening to Steve "Psycho" Lyons on the way to the park today.

Talking about Cuba and the amenities that you can find down there...or to put it more bluntly, he was talking about hookers:

He said it was easy to find "interested parties for minimal compensation." Wow.

And after being asked about celebrities who came to the clubhouse when he played, the only one he could remember was Bruce Hornsby, to which his sidekick asked:

"So, who was banging Hornsby?"

I wish I was making this stuff up.

More later.

Sorry this took so long today. I can't find a fast way to upload the photos. If anyone has any tips, let me know.

Go Cubs.

And then...the party started?

So, after the Cubs, we had about an hour to kill before we picked up Patrick. Marty suggested ASU and I got waaaaaay excited. My first chance to see the ASU ladies (I'm gonna google ASU ladies and post the first pick I get)




Yep, everyone was that hot. The campus is pretty nice I guess.





Whatever.

Go Cubs.

Yep...we were there.

We were TOTALLY there...

(Overly Detailed) Thoughts on Cubs Practice #1

First of all, it should be pointed out that Lindsay Lohan has done today what Britney Spears could not do-provide an all-nude photo shoot while still marginally attractive. Kudos to you, Lindsay. Keep Hope Alive.

Now, for those of you that have kept reading and didn't immediately do a google search for "Lindsay Lohan+nude photo shoot"...on to more Arizona and/or Cubs-related news.

I really, really, really, really, really want Ronny Cedeno to beat out Ryan Theriot (usual Cubs fan response: "His name sounds like "The Riot!" He's white! He's short! He must be good!) for the position of starting shortstop. Unfortunately, Ronny doesn't seem to be putting himself in the good graces of the Cubs' management-on at least two occasions, I watched him kick a routine grounder, then saw one or more Cubs coach shake his head in disbelief/anger. There seems to be a bit of a frustration about the guy.

Fukudome spent most of his BP working on hitting the ball only to the opposite field. Slightly cool, but not nearly as interesting as watching his interpreter strap on what could only be described as a Game-Day Giveaway style glove and saddle up to Right Field in an attempt to fit in to the Spring Training Practice extravaganza. Evidently, it befuddled my partner in nerdy fandom. The following conversation actually occurred:

Me: You see Fukudome's interpreter out there in Right with Lee?

Jason: Yeah. You think Lee is okay speaking Japanese with him?

Me: Well, my guess is that the interpreter probably can speak pretty good English, seeing as how he's an interpreter and all.

Aside from our own stupidity, what continues to amaze me most about watching practice is how quiet everyone remains while the players are on the field. Its like everyone's watching the 18th at Augusta. There are really only a couple possible explanations for this:

1. The vast majority of the audience is old enough to fondly remember the Frank Chance era, and thus never speaks louder than a whisper, or...

2. Everyone's so busy attempting to file through their roster to figure out who number 73 is that they don't have a moment to actually speak to the person next to them.

The only violator of the unspoken code of silence among the fans was some joker behind us who felt the need to prove to his new friend standing next to him that he was, in fact, the heir to the Tim McCarver throne of blatantly-obvious-baseball-observations. He was very proud of the fact that he knew that Ryan Theriot was "scrappy" and that Matt Murton had a "good eye." I'm sure all his friends (that he obviously forces to listen to him when he calls in to sports radio shows to "teach those guys a lesson") were very proud of his performance that day.

All in all, not too bad a first day. Maybe tomorrow I'll even have a post that won't be completely trumped by the lure of Lohan boob.

Side-eyeing Part 2

Apologies for this taking so long, but it's been a busy day. Before I start, big thanks to everyone for reading this. It makes me happy.

So we crawled out of bed this morning after a very exciting evening of watching Dodge Ball and headed to Tempe. It was pretty friggin' early but it was also almost 70 degrees out so...awesome. Marty had warned me about what it would be like and he was dead on.





50% geriatrics, 30% children and their families and...uh 20% creepy old dudes looking for autographs. And yes, we don't fall into any of those groups but whatever.

It's basically like hanging out watching a high school game except the HS players are HUGE.
What's pretty cool is that you are really close and the coaches who seem like they do nothing all year are really involved during Spring Training.



Alan Trammel (sp?) may have hit 500 grounders while we were there.

EVERYONE'S favorite cub was there of course.



I dare you to say anything bad about Mr. Thighs when you see how great his bunt stance is.

Jimmy Hendry was there. Fat and sunglassed as always.



And then there is my favorite exchange of the day.

Me: Who the f%#k is that?



Marty: I'm pretty sure that's D-Ward.

Me: Jesus, he's all ass.

Marty: (deadpan) Yeah, the words bubble butt springs to mind.

Me: (Not listening) I agree, but seriously look at the size of his ass!

Finally, the most important Cub got to take BP.



That's Fukudome in case you were confused. Not as much media there as we thought there would be. The funniest thing about him was that we saw him out in the outfield just "chilling'" with D. Lee. I know that doesn't sound funny, but he had his translator with him and he had a glove. Not a major league glove, but some kid glove. Awesome. So picture Lee trying to small talk with Fuku while the translater tries to flag balls with a child's mitt. High comedy.



My new man crush is Soto. We got to watch the catchers hit as a group at the end of the day and 3 things stood out...

1) Soto hit one out to dead center and shrugged his shoulders afterwards (the field is 350 down each line, 400 to center and there is a 50 foot wall around the whole place).

2) Hank White has HUGE tats down both arms.

3) Koyie Hill is back and Marty is waaaay too excited about it.

I have another post about the rest of our day, but that may come tomorrow.

Again, thanks for reading.

Go Cubs.

New Post Coming Soon...

We've had a great day of baseball, ASU, ping-pong and of course...beer. Patrick is here now too! Got lots of photos from the Cubs training camp. Will try to update in about an hour or so. Gotta hit the hot tub for a bit.

Go Cubs.

Marty's Facts Realized after One Full Day in Arizona

10. People here are far too friendly. On a 45 minute run, I had a minimum of 5 people actually say "hi" to me. It was like being a freshman in college all over again.

9. Jason loses things like its his job.

8. Everyone here is from Chicago...except for the random guy from Missouri who may have been Jason's Personal Jesus, mostly because he was at the KU-Mizzou football game this year. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have been more impressed if the guy had said he was at the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Or if he had actually written the Declaration of Independence.

7. I am really bad at picking out books. I spent literally an hour and fifteen minutes in the Barnes and Noble trying to pick out a book to read this week. I stood in line 3 times with a book, only to change my mind at the last second. Apparently, I can stay with the same girl for 11 years, yet buying a book I may or may not read for four days is an ordeal of unsurpassed proportions.

6. The "Westin vacation owner's update" that you get when you come for your week here is "a great chance to ask questions and find out what's new about your ownership-its a terrific opportunity!" That is, until you tell them that your wife is not with you and you can't be cajoled into buying more weeks with their company. Then, "if you don't have any questions, you probably don't need to do it."

5. Boneless chicken wings are overrated.

4. So is NASCAR.

3. If a woman gets into a hot tub wearing lipstick, eyeliner, blush, and about 50 other types of makeup on her face, you can be pretty sure that everything on her body below that face isn't real.

2. I will never be good nor interested enough in the sport of golf to justify paying $210 to play 18 holes...and unless you refer to yourself as "cablanasian" and are married to a swedish model, you probably aren't either. You might as well give me the $210 and I'll save you the trouble by throwing every ball you have into the lakes throughout the course.

1. Very few things are funnier than watching a grown man try to apologize for loudly using the word "fuck" in front of a 4-year old.

Sunny Day

Sorry to say, nothing that exciting happened today. We went to BW3 to watch the Daytona 500. We enjoyed some wings and stayed outside as long as we could...even when its in the 60s, the shade be cold.



We finally went inside to watch the last 50 laps...



Problem was that there was no sun indoors and Marty may not be that big of fan of the NASCAR.



Came back to the Villa and went down to the hot tub. I wish I could share stories about how we met a bunch of really interesting old folks, but unfortunately we only had one giant fake boobed lady and her down home husband. We didn't really talk, we just side-eyed (PATENT PENDING) her boobs. Good times.

After that, we went back to the outdoor bar and watched the MOST important all-star game ever...nba. Our topic tonight...players in the Israeli league. We knew that the best of the best from MU play there, but it seems...thanks to Marty's fancy phone...that a lot of the player drafted since 98 seem to play there. This joke is funnier if I remembered any of them, sorry. This is probably when I should mention the drink Marty keeps ordering...Dreamsicle.



It apparently tastes just like the actual popsicle or something, He's the one with the free place so who am I to judge...but jesus...really?

BTW, in case you were getting worried, I am actually here too.



It's a beer, I swear. I have no idea why it looks like a giant orange juice.

Anyway, sorry to be boring, but nothing really happened today. Totally unrelated...Legend of Bagger Vance AND Any Given Sunday are quality flicks.

Green Light Baby.

Already 60 degrees here today. Nice. Saw that it made it to the mid 40's in Chicago, though. Too bad I missed it. Been to the gym this morning already and are heading to BW3 to watch the race outdoors (god bless the SW). Should be a great day. Less than 20 hours 'til we see the Cubs up close and personal. Can't wait.

Go Cubs.

WNBA and other important topics

Scottsdale, AZ

10:33PM MST

The Villa



Day 1 is complete.

Marty and I arrived within half an hour of each other, grabbed a fly rental car and headed to the Villa. It's 60ish and somewhat sunny. Not bad. The place is pretty sweet.







Went down to the outdoor bar to grab a beer or two and then headed to the greatest eatery on the planet.



Oh, dear Jesus do they make great burgers. Anyhoo. The night got waaaaaay more exciting after that. Marty and I went back to the bar and began discussing a topic that is near and dear to all our hearts...the WNBA. Does anyone know what the average salary is in the WNBA. We do. Does anyone know what the highest salary in the WNBA is? We do (it apparently isn't a million dollars). Does anyone know who won the MVP in 2007? Cappie Pondexer. Duh. After completing our dissertation on women's basketball, we headed back to the scene of the crime from the Moran wedding. Waltz and Weiser (aka the bar downstairs). Just in case you forgot, the drinks are still 16 bucks for two well drinks. Awesome.

Enough babbling. Road World Real World Challenge is on. Coral is back. Gotta go.

Go Cubs.